THE 2023 JET PROGRAMME PHILIPPINES CHRONICLES: THE WAITING GAME 2.0

 

THE WAITING GAME 2.0
The 2023 JET PH Chronicles

I. How was it like after the Second Screening?
II. What are some of the things that kept you busy?
III. How did you handle the stress and anxiety of waiting for the second screening results?

My schedule for the Second Screening of the 2023 Japan Exchange and Teaching Programme Philippines was on January 30, 2023. Right after my interview, I left the embassy feeling satisfied with everything that I did and said. I was smiling from ear to ear as I walk down the very steep staircase at the JICC (well, that was probably because I was wearing heels). I was the last to leave the morning group so I was not really expecting that my co-applicants who I have met earlier will wait for me. I got my gadgets back from the guard and headed straight towards the exit when Ma'am Ingrid and Sir Gene called me. I looked back and saw they were actually waiting for me. T^T You guys are so sweet!~ Thank you so much, I won't be alone to process everything that happened. haha.

There were too many people at Jolibee near the embassy so we decided to eat at Burger King instead. We talked about our experiences. For me, it felt like I can finally breathe again normally. It was fun talking to them. We were even mistaken to be managers of BK because of our attire. haha That was really funny. The family asked Sir Gene if they can get a free birthday meal for the granny sitting at the table next to us. 

After some time, we went our separate ways. I hailed a Jeepney that would pass the alleyway where my airbnb is located. However, I was really not very familiar with the place so I got lost. hahaha. I hailed a tricycle instead and asked kuya driver to drop me off at the address I showed him. Christy's schedule is 31st so she will join me later on. I left my things and went out again to buy myself some food. Just around the neighborhood, so I won't get lost the second time around. Haha.

I went back to my airbnb and ate what I bought. After, I decided to take a nap because my head hurt so bad. I woke up 2 hours after and asked Christy what time she'd arrive so I can go and pick her up. While waiting for her alone in my room, the exam, demo, and interview kept replaying in my mind and I found so many different ways I could have said my answers and done things better during the demo than I did. I thought about how I couldn't finish my exam. I felt anxiety creep in and the thought of failing because of my performance made me feel worse. I got my guitar and played, sang, and prayed to keep my mind away from these thoughts. 

Christy arrived a few minutes before six in the evening. I missed her messenger calls. I fell asleep again while waiting for her so I hurriedly got the keys to the room and whooshh down the stairs to meet her where she was. I ordered food for dinner, ate when it arrived, and fell asleep again. I guess that day was so physically, emotionally, and mentally draining that I slept almost half of the day away. I woke up before midnight. Ro Ann, our former co-teacher at HHIS arrived to join us. She helped Christy with her makeup the next day. When she arrived, I slept again. Haha. I was very exhausted, I guess. 

The next day, I left for home and brought Christy with me. I dropped her off at the embassy and wished her luck. I arrived home Tuesday afternoon, and since my part-time classes were still in the evening, I decided to prepare things I would need for the next school days. 

I created a group chat JET PH 2023 | WAITING ROOM and added Sir Gene, Ma'am Ingrid, Christy, and some other applicants I saw from the FB group who are looking for a Short-listed (interview) group chat. They also added others whom they got to know during their interview day. This GC is a blessing. I met many great people and learned a lot from them as well. I made friends whom I have never met in person yet and planned things to do in Japan with them (even though we aren't really sure if we will get shortlisted.) They were so positive and cheered everyone up. Most members are quiet lurkers just reading the messages of the noisy ones (Ehem!) but would give their opinion every now and then. We also try to predict when the emails will be sent haha and exchange gossip (mga marites at mga stalkers halaauurrr) here and there. 

The second waiting game is a lot more stressful than the first one, mainly because I knew how the result will help me reset my life or will leave me to go find other opportunities elsewhere. I was extra anxious because I wanted to be in the JET Programme more than anyone could possibly know or fathom. I had multiple mental breakdowns and I know it wasn't healthy. One moment I was happy, the next I was bawling my eyes out because I had replayed January 30th in my mind and had an inkling feeling, I wouldn't make it. I was also so sure how many of my batchmates were just so great. At one point, I started questioning my skills and abilities. Can I really do this? Sigh. I messaged Teacher Macs, Teacher Donna, my co-applicants I am already close with, my family members, and my friends. I prayed and prayed and prayed. I am so grateful for my solid support system for always putting faith and hope back in me.

My friends kept comforting me and telling me I will surely be in, but I knew how JET is so unpredictable and extremely competitive, and I felt like my performance wasn't my best. Like I could have done better. I will admit, I was so conscious about people watching me do my demo teaching. I am used to my superiors observing my classes, and I usually just act like they are not there when they stop by for observation and just talk and play around with the kids. However, there were no kids in the room and I felt so awkward doing the motions and saying the words without the students around. haha 

I was also very nervous at that time, and when I am nervous, my hands shake. I kept dropping the magnets to the floor at the beginning of the demonstration teaching and kept saying sorry for letting the magnets fall. lol. I thought the interview went well, but overthinking forced me to think, "Oh maybe they wouldn't want you because you do not have experience traveling and teaching abroad." I felt so sad because however much I wanted to do those, I just didn't have the means and the time. I was suddenly overcome with hopelessness. 

But, I came to the point where I finally accepted the fact that what was done was already done. I was praying before starting my day and begging the Lord to touch the hearts of the JET screening committee to give me a chance. I cannot change it anymore and I just have to leave it all to the Lord. After praying, I opened my Instagram and this message was the first post I saw. So, I held onto it and kept on telling myself, the Lord knows what my heart desires. He will give it to me if He knows he can use me there for His purpose. 

While thinking about that, I suddenly thought about how God brought me to Pinagbuhatan High School during the pandemic. I told Teacher Jhine that maybe, it was His will that I got transferred to Pasig so I could help some teachers during the virtual classes. It is where I was needed.

This school has been very great and helpful to me, and though I definitely would love to stay with them (shout out to my MAPEH family), my circumstances force me to look for better opportunities. So, I prayed and hope that maybe the Lord could send me to Japan, and fulfill another one of His purposes either for myself, for the JET Programme, for the Japanese students, my future JTEs, and/or most especially for my family.  

I busied myself with my full-time and part-time jobs. February was National Arts Month so there were a lot of activities that kept me busy, but also added to the growing anxiety inside my head. I thank my co-teachers for being so patient and so understanding of me and my shortcomings. I work from 1PM to 6:30PM at my school and 7:30PM to 10PM at home for Summer Hill English on weekdays. If I am not too tired I try to open slots for MWU students in the Skype Room in the morning. But, if I feel like I am too exhausted, I usually just take some needed rest in the morning. On weekends, my classes at SHE starts at 7:30AM and ends at 10PM on Saturdays and 3PM to 10PM on Sundays. 

 

So this schedule was pretty hardcore and gave me little to no time to think about the second screening results. But I must admit, it pops up in my mind suddenly when I am in the middle of something. I remember one of the panelists asking me, "Do you even have time for yourself and for leisure?" I answered yes because I really do have some time I can meet friends (although very rarely). This happens usually when classes are suspended or it's a holiday. Most of my friends are teachers at the public school as well, so I get to meet them during these times. 

When there are students who asked for leave, I read books, study Nihongo, sing duets on TikTok, watch videos (mostly related to ALT jobs in Japan and some about SKZ and WINNER hoho), and edit vlogs. I also started watching Jujutsu Kaisen and some Asian Dramas. Oh! And my friend also paid for my Stray Kids Concert Ticket. She said that I should watch it to forget about the JET Programme even just for a few days. haha I will talk about that in a different blog. But here's a short clip of my SKZ experience here in Manila. 

Today is March 31, 2023, the last day of March, and just a few days ago we finally got the result of the JET Programme Second Screening. Did I get in? 

I will leave you hanging for now... 

Toodles!~